The adventures continued (not baseball related)

Guess I never updated after my squicked out adventure getting the boat ready over the weekend. So as long as I’m posting depressing stuff… We did get out there successfully Sunday only to find the Chesapeake Bay did in fact freeze over the winter (my greatest fear) and destroyed the ladder and access platform. Three years to get the lighthouse to the point where we could tie up and get on quickly, safely, and easily – all gone in a matter of one winter. Back to square one… I’ll be updating the Keepers Log with more detail over the next couple days.

This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you

Recognize that phrase? My parents certainly used it on me as a kid while doling out punishment for some infraction or other. Of course, I never really believed they felt any pain at all. Well, that’s kind of how I feel after last night’s painful 13-11 8th inning loss to the Phillies. I love the Nats, I love the team, players, manager, etc. What a long strange trip it’s been as my fandom has evolved since I started this little web log four years ago. I feel I’ve become nearly as close to the ballclub as one can without actually working for them or being related. So the heartache of last night feels all the more amplified. Almost like I’m feeling some of their pain.

Words failed me last night and even this morning after sleeping on it. I even had a dream I said the wrong thing and Manny Acta scolded me (I guess I hurt his feelings in my dream and then swore I’d only post photographs from now on). A little more sitting and thinking and overeating brought me here. I will not scream and stomp and swear or cast aspersions, just like I wouldn’t at my own kids, friends, or relatives. Like with my kids, I see their failings yet really want to see them succeed for their own personal victories, for the team, for the future and fans – to the point it hurts. I don’t want to see them punished — whether by fans, internal monologue beatings, or demotions, yet I realize something will probably happen as far as the closer role is concerned.

So, deflated is a good word. Sad. Still hopeful… still rooting for those little victories and accomplishments.