On the tenth day of Strasmas, my true love gave to me…
10 Tomahawk strikeouts,
9 Bullpen innings,
8 Storen pitches,
7 Of those strikes,
6 Total Nats hits,
5 Golden frames…
4 Stolen bases,
3 Early Nats runs,
2 Throwing errors,
And M. Batista starting the game.
I considered inserting a scratching record sound after “9 bullpen innings” but figured I may as well finish out the verse. For one thing, I’m not sure how to insert audio into written word seamlessly enough to properly convey the jarring reaction a needle scraping across vinyl causes. In order to avoid keeping this goofiness up three more times, I’m going ahead and carrying on the shtick even though Stephen Strasburg didn’t make his scheduled start last night. At this point it’s questionable whether or not Strasburg will even toe the rubber three more starts this season. Wait, what?! Yes, now you understand the record scratching thing.
Scratched was the word of the day. The National Anthem concluded, lineup cards were delivered to the umpires, and the promotional “starting 9″ took the field prior to the Nats-uniformed starting 9. I thought the woman from SAIC lingered on the mound for an unusually long time. Finally, a pitcher took the mound and rumbling began crescendoing through the packed out stadium of fans expecting to see Strasburg begin his warmup tosses. Blinking, eyes unbelieving, a single thought united those in the stands. “Who is on the mound?! What’s going on?” I studied the arms, face and jersey number of the guy on the mound multiple times while my brain processed… Not Strasburg. Batista? Huh? I briefly debated fleeing my seat and husband in the stands and running up to the press box to find out what happened, but relied on Twitter instead, where I learned the beat writers were just as surprised until GM Mike Rizzo held an impromptu press conference to explain his precautionary reasons behind pulling Strasburg.
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